Teardrops and Rainbows© by Mandy Gutsell

Breathe.

Breathe through,

Through the pain

The sadness

The intense feeling in the chest.

Feeling the rise and fall.

The in and out of my grief

My pain.

My pain?

My grief?

Whose pain? Whose grief?

Mourning for all those gone before

Those no longer to be

No longer on this mortal earth.

Feeling the tears prick my eyelids

Wanting to feel like stabbing my eyes out,

To stop the tears coming.

Mourning for those still here.

Those who are here but gone on some level

Gone to what they once were,

Here present in different shapes.

Disappointed dreams,

Dashed hopes.

Hopes that never quite emerged,

Never fulfilled what was once hoped.

Dreams lying like flat puddles,

To be walked over in the rain.

To notice the reflection back as the steps splash

To see the reflection of the rainbow wobble.

The wobble and shimmer of the colours,

Appearing and then disappearing.

Like seeing the vibrant rainbow in the sky.

At first the colours clearly demarked,

And then bit by bit over time gradually fading,

While you search for the last bit of colour

Until eventually you can see it no more.

No more until the next time.

As rainbows are hope,

Hope of things to come.

Things both experienced in the past and the future,

The future of the rainbow

Waiting to emerge again once more.