The Journey. by Mandy Gutsell

To do, to not do

To act, to not act

The ever-revolving door.

Caught going round and round in circles

Circles on the merry go round

Waiting for a moment to step off.

Waiting with hesitancy

Foot poised

For what?

Reaching out and bringing it back

Unsure, not sure

Lack of clarity.

Not being able to see the wood for the trees

Getting blocked by the trees in the wood

What would it take to step off?

To dip your toe in the water

To feel the coolness toe by toe

Emerging in the water until one whole foot is submerged

Then the other foot, toe by toe to your ankles.

Holding your breath between

Taking small gasps of breath

Little ‘in’ breaths bit by bit.

Feeling the water at your waist

Gently bobbing up and down

Taking a massive breath in and submerging to your shoulders.

Taking another gasp in and gently jumping from one foot to another………

Before finally taking the plunge

Submerging your face and whole body into the water.

Coming up for air knowing the worst moment is over

As your body adjusts to its environment

With each movement it becomes easier.

To go with not against

To accept the inevitability of it all

The futility in fighting.

The acceptance of what is

To be present to what is needed

What is required

In this given moment.