Mandy and Caylees learning from their forthcoming book.

There have been 2 perspectives that have helped us take a step back from getting involved in arguments the last 2 months. The first is;

1) No body gets to be wrong. So in other words we both get to be right in some way and have an opinion. This has helped us reduce the ‘niggling arguments’ that can come from getting involved in ‘who was right’. One example of this was when Caylee and I were on the way to the childminders. I said to Caylee the childminder was picking her up from netball and Caylee said it was the previous week we had asked her to do it. I started to get involved in proving I was right and Caylee was wrong. We both started to raise our voices and I reminded myself of the phrase ‘nobody gets to be wrong’. I asked Caylee what we needed to know now to move this forward. She said to make sure the child minder knew what was happening. We both agreed we had the same agenda and this calmed the situation. I also said to Caylee there was a possibility I may have made a mistake. I decided that even if I had not made a mistake it did not matter. Caylee would learn more knowing its o.k. to make mistakes. A similar concept that a colleague shared with me this week is ‘If you have the choice between being right or kind…..be kind.’ I will try this one for the coming months.

2) The second is having focused ‘screaming time’. This was Caylees idea that if we were getting caught in the trap of niggling at each other and we could feel it building up, we could take time out to scream at each other. It has to be for a fixed time only and we were both clear the timing was a boundary. We had a watch timing so we could see it and know when time was up. The parody in forcing the screaming and shouting at each other was after about a minute we both ended up laughing at each other. It helped release any tension we felt and there was no blaming each other.

Book Report 1.

Choice Theory. A new Psychology of Personal Freedom. William Glasser. 1998 HarperPerennial. ISBN 0-06-093014-4

I found this book to be very relevant to parents and teens. It focuses on the fact that we have more choices than we realise. To teach teens and families that they can take control and make better choices is liberating. It also enables teens to take more responsibility rather than blaming everyone else for how they feel. The focus of Choice Theory is “How can I figure out how to be free to live my life the way I want to live it and still get along well with the people I need?”

In the middle chapters I did find some of the explanations a little repetitive and the references to genes and mental illness too simplistic. From Chapter 9 onwards it became more interesting as it gave a greater variety of examples of common problems and ways of dealing with them.

Overall a very good book that takes focus away from people feeling they have few choices in life.

Book Report 2.

The E-Myth Revisited. Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It. Michael E Gerber. Harper Collins. ISBN 0-88730-728-0

This book is very relevant for any small/medium sized business owner. The main focus of the book breaks down the roles of a business owner into manager, entrepreneur and technician. It says the main reason businesses fail is because the owners think if you understand the technical work of a business you understand a business that does that technical work. WRONG!

Being a great coach and running a great coaching business are 2 different things.

It explores the conflicts that arise between the roles and suggests too much time is spent on the technician role.

The main part of the book then gives examples of systems that businesses need to set up as opposed to relying on personalities of people.

I found the use of language such as franchise put me off slightly but if I ignored that it was useful.

Overall this book makes you think quite seriously about how far you want to take your business and ways of setting systems up.

Forthcoming Events

Friday 10th Sept, Friday 22nd Oct, Friday 12th Nov 04 9.30am – 12.30pm
Half day 3 hour workshop
Business Network Limited, 5 The Quadrant, Alcester Street, Redditch, Worcestershire B98 8AE
Cost; £50

Title; Making Mental Health Your Business. How changes in the Disability Discrimination Act this coming October 2004 will impact on an employer with any number of employees. It used to be only employers with 15 employees or more. This will no longer be the case. This workshop will look at the systems you need in place to show how you are looking after your employees mental well being. The focus will be specifically on Mental Health Problems and how to be positive about the workforce.The cost of being sued is not worth taking the risk. Be proactive not reactive.

E-mail or call to book a place. There are a limited number of places. These places are being taken up fast so don't delay for this cost effective opportunity.

A whole day on DDA in partnership with Equal Futures.
Covers all aspects of DDA including Mental Health
Birmingham Wed 29th Sept £100 for the whole day. 9.30 – 4.30

Thursday Sept 16th 6pm – 7pm
Venue; Teleclass training.
Cost; The cost of a phone call for 1 hour if you are signed up to cheap calls.
The way it works is nearer the date I supply you with a special telephone number. This connects you with all the other people on the call. If you need to sign up for cheaper calls onetel offer very good rates.

Title; Exploring the Parent as Coach process and how I am applying this with my daughter. It will give you a good insight especially if you are considering the 8 week teleclass course after this.

E-mail or ring for a place. Places are free but there is a limited number.
Dates and venue to be confirmed. Venue will be in the Midlands area with a residential option.

Enneagram Training Part 1 and Part 2
Dates are; Sunday Sept 5th, Sat 9th Oct, Sat 27th November
9.30 – 4.30
Cost; £65.00 includes refreshments and lunch.
Stourbridge, West Midlands.

Title; The Enneagram Part 1. The Enneagram is a powerful assessment tool for personal transformation and development. The Enneagram focuses on all human beings encompassing 1 of 9 types. The focus will be on exploring what your type is, what your strengths are and how you relate to other types. It will offer you a different perspective on the thought processes and decision making skills that the different types implement. It will also give you lots of ideas about how to develop your own potential.

Title; The Enneagram Part 2. Know your Parenting Personality. Imagine parent-child/teen interactions in which youíre aware of how your personality affects the way you behave as a parent and how the personality of your child/teen interacts with your own. The workshop will enable you to be aware of your personality patterns and provide you with insight to help you mobilize good parenting strategies. In this way it helps you reconcile differences between your self and your child/teen. You will also have opportunity to consider which type may apply to your children/teen. This is used more loosely with young people but can still be some help in considering if there needs to be some changes made in the parenting strategies because of the child/teen type.

2nd Ladies day at Brockencote Hall, Chaddersley Corbett, Kidderminster.
10 – 4 Wed Sept 22nd.
Venue: Brockencote Hall
Title;Women who... want to have positivley passionate relationships with themselves and others.
Due to the success of the launching event the day has now been extended by popular demand
Do you want to take a few hours out in a relaxing environment?
Do you want to meet up with other like minded women? This may be the event for you.
Do you want to know more about what coaching has to offer you?
Do you want to be inspired and have some fun?
Cost; £50 includes lunch, refreshments and in-house demo from massage therapists. Numbers are restricted to 25 so places will be allocated on a first come first served basis.

Sat 16th/Sund 17th October 9 – 6 both days.
Venue: Newhampton Arts Centre, Wolverhampton.
Title; Drama therapy experiential
This weekend is an introductory course for anyone who wants to find out how drama therapy works. This will be of particular interest to professionals working with clients in education, helath and social care environments.
Cost: £175 including use of all materials. Participants will need to provide their own lunch and refreshments.

“To Be or not To Be” - That REALLY is the question!
Transfrom your impact at work by learning how to BE your authentic brilliant self.
28th/29th October 04 and 17/18th March 05
9.30am to 5.00pm both days.
Cost; £950 per person excluding VAT
Includes all refreshments and Buffet lunch.
Orange Studio, Cannon Street, Birmingham

Presented by Mandy Gutsell, Tony Barton and Nick Martin all professionally trained Life Coaches.

Designed for;
Team Leaders and Managers who want to have more impact at work in order to be more effective.

Content;
This course is all about you – about who you are at work. Its about getting to know yourself better so that you can bring more of your authentic self into work and be more effective, have more impact and be happier.

• To be or not to be? What does it mean?
• Communication – verbal and non verbal
• Enneagram personality profiling
• Managing the ‘inner critic’ – our gremlins
• Being authentic vs. putting on a disguise
• Team work and team building
• Being more confident in yourself and with others
• Understanding and using your strengths and weaknesses
• Motivational techniques for you and your people

‘Real Conversations’ Series.
After the success of our coaching evenings myself and 2 colleagues are launching this series for people who want Real Conversations. Whats life really about? Whats the point anyway? Whats really at the heart of the matter? Come and be inspired, be prepared to experience the unexpected and meet new friends.
Dates; Thursday 23rd Sept 7-9pm Cost £20 @ Orange Studio, Birmingham
Monday 1st November 04 7-9pm
Monday 6th December 04 7-9pm
Monday 10th January 05 7-9pm
Monday 7th February 05 7-9pm
Monday 7th March 05 7-9pm

Resource of the month

A great group for inspiring social events and meeting like minded people.

For more information please visit our website
www.birmingham-yesgroup.co.uk